The Psychology of Moving to San Antonio 06/23/2018by Julie DeLong, A-1 Freeman Moving Group Prepare for the Worst, Hope for the Best Moving is tough—notwithstanding the situation, any time you are packing up all your cherished belongings (read--old magazines, items you've been meaning to fix, kids’ drawings) and move them to a new residence is mind-boggling for even the most organized and positive among us. When you have landed your dream job—three states away--and your spouse will have to vacate their career, when life has thrown you a large surprise and you're more or less forced to move, when living by yourself is no longer an option---you have to manage a lot of emotional ups and downs at the same time as the tension of the physical move to San Antonio. A big stressor in moving is understanding the whims of the real estate business. You are a grown person, esteemed in your community, and your life is completely at the mercy of some people you've never met--what if your house doesn't sell? Suppose the people who put an offer on your house decide they want to buy another house? What if they demand you to leave the washer & dryer and the kids' playset? What if the appraiser takes note of the rift in the foundation that's kind of unseen behind the shrubs? Suppose the inspector finds your new residence has a wornout roof or there's a new bowling alley and travel plaza planned for across the road from your new subdivision? Here is the reality. You have no say over any of these items. The best thing is to make sure that the realtor helping with your home and the realtor helping you buy the new house are capable and do their jobs--and work with both to have a contingency plan should something get askew. Consider real estate transactions a giant run of dominoes--closings usually are dependent upon another closing happening as scheduled. One hiccup five steps up the food chain can impact your buyers timetable, and a similar thing goes for the house you are moving to—a last minute snag might mean you cannot close on the day that you had planned, and you're up all night wondering how you are going to cope when you are homeless for a a couple days, or if you might be able to move into one of the moving company’s moving vans and set up camp. Take a deep breath. One of the advantages of the recession is that real estate rules have changed and there aren't nearly as many eleventh hour updates with your closings. You should find out about any potential concerns well ahead of your closing date, and in case that something does vary, moving companies are very used to working with changing time frames. If a setback does slow things down, you may have the choice of moving in a few days prior to when you actually close--again, a good realtor thinks about contingencies, so you don't have to worry about them. Communicate with your realtors and lender once a week prior to your closing date to make sure all the inspections and repairs and whatnot are on schedule; being on top of it gives you at least a feeling of control, and if there is a glitch you are not blindsided. If something unexpected does occur, like if you are building and an out-of-stock supply has delayed inspections and you don't have the occupancy certificate three days ahead of closing because the electrical isn't completed, AND you've got fixed closing date on your old residence and the movers are lined up, don't lose it. Most moving companies offer temporary or long-term storage until you can move into your new house, and your realtor may be able to help you find short-term housing until your residence is available. Problems like these are not likely, but when they do arise your anxiety levels skyrocket--so rely on your team to help you figure it out. The Emotional Stages of Moving So, you're moving to San Antonio--and it may be an exciting time, it might be a challenge. You might be going three blocks or three hundred miles away. Everyone’s circumstances are diverse, but people are very much similar--the emotional rollercoaster just varies from residence to house. Some are kiddie sized, with happy animated cars to ride in, and others resemble a gravity-defying, nausea-generating Loch Ness monster. The trick is to change that roller coaster into a peaceful ride with happy little people singing "It's A Small World" as you sail through your closets. Some researchers and psychologists have linked moving--in any situation--to the Kubler-Ross five stages of grief model. That is, you feel denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. When you've constructed a life in one place, it is absolutely standard to have regrets about leaving the residence where you were carried (or carried) over the threshold, where you brought your babies home, where you observed all those birthdays and graduations. If your move is not choice but an essentiality, it is fine to get mad at the state of affairs that have deposited you at the location where you're leaving your home because you have no choice. Be furious, shriek and scream at the walls and lean on your family and friends for support. Spend some time attempting to formulate how to not have to relocate—maybe your spouse could commute, or get a room in the new town; if you need assistance keeping up with your house, you might consider getting live in help. Thinking through your choices, as far out as they may be, helps you think through the reality of moving so that it's a bit less painful to accept it. Then, you can spend a few days or weeks in denial, of sorts. This is when your relatives ask if they should swing by and help you sort through your belongings, and you fib a bit and say you're nearly done, when in actuality you have pitched two dried up ink pens and one pair of those disposable pedicure flip flops and don't have a box to your name. If you're really struggling with the details of purging and packing, allow your friends to assist. Or, ask your moving company to box things up for you—most full-service movers have professional packers who can either get you going or do the whole job for you. At some point, you'll acknowledge the transition and change. It might not be the day the moving vans pull up, it may take several months. But the human spirit is a resilient thing and you will come to accept and embrace your new locale in San Antonio. That's not to pretend it will be simple, but being agreeable to create a new life and attempting new activities can ease the nostalgia for your old home and your old life. The members of your family will all have the same feelings, although with different degrees of ferocity--teenagers’ reactions are going to be a bit more bold than that of a child. If you are vacating your family house for senior living because one spouse is not doing well, then the more active spouse may experience more anger and denial. The important thing is to remember that the emotional swings are normal and it would be odd if you didn't feel sad or mad or a little upset during the move. Keeping your move in perspective is critical to arriving to the new house safe and sound. Your life isn't housed in the rooms of your old home, your life is in the memories you've made there. Keep in mind that you won't lose old friends, and that you'll meet new ones. And one day soon, you will open the front door and say to yourself, "I'm home." Easing the Transition People have habitual behavior ingrained in them--even babies pick their cuddly stuffed animal and you’ll be in trouble if it is in the washing machine at nap time. So, when you move, you are lots of times changing up all your habits in place and even when you're excited about the new residence, the new life you've got to build around it is demanding to even the most adventurous. When you are moving and concerned about creating a new life for you and your family in San Antonio, here are some tips to assist with the transition. Get your family pumped up about the relocation to San Antonio. If this deciphers to agreeing that your teenage daughter can paint her favorite rock band’s newest album on her wall, put a smile on your face and go buy the paint. It may mean that at last you have a big enough backyard for a dog—think about what type of dog would fit best with your family, and as soon as the last box is unpacked, go to the local shelter and get a new furry family member. While you are at it, adopt two dogs, as the only thing better than saving one life, is saving two. Let your kids put up tents and camp out in that big backyard. Of course, it's bribery of a sort, but it's all for the best and the delight of new privileges and besides, puppies are a surefire way to put a smile on everyone’s face. And, if you are the one having a tough time with it, seeing your family happy goes a long way to helping your mood. When you're moving, the world-wide web (if you are older that terminology makes sense to you) makes the trip a lot simplier. You possibly scoured real estate websites to search for your new house and research schools and neighborhoods, so you have a pretty good view already of your new locale. Use social media to connect with people--towns big and small have mom groups that suggest all types of things from dermatologist reviews to the best swim lessons--and remember that your new neighbors are great resources. A lot of neighborhoods have websites and online directories that tell you whose kids babysit, dog walk and mow grass. If you have kiddos, transitioning activities is much more important to them than that dentist. Being able to jump right back into basketball or swimming lessons or ballet keeps them active and helps them fit into their new community-the last thing you need is to have pouting children around the home grumbling that they hate you and don't have anything to do. And here is an interesting bit of information—studies show that moving in the middle of the school year is easier on kids than moving over the summer break. When you commence a new school at the beginning of the year it is easier to get lost in the turmoil of the new year , but when you start when school's in session, it is more probable your kids will meet friends more quickly and get more interested in school. The loss of a feeling of security can be the hardest part of a relocation for the adults. When you're in the habit of swinging into a neighbor's abode just because you know that she’s home, being in a new place where you don't know a soul is hard. Remember that your new neighbors are probably interested in getting to know you, because they have possibly said goodbye to their drive-by buddies and are looking forward to getting to know the new neighbors (aka – you!). Taking the dog for a walk is a sure-fire way to run into the neighbors--their eagerness to learn about you is high, and this gives you an easy way to get to know everybody. The majority of churches and synagogues have newcomers’ classes that welcome you and your family, and assist you to discover how you fit within that community. Many schools would love to have more volunteers, so think about getting involved. And, if you are part of a national club like Rotary or Junior League your membership can be easily transferred. Life changes are tough, but by allowing yourself and your loved ones the okay to be a tad sad about the past will help everyone look forward to the future. If you are getting ready for a move, contact A-1 Freeman Moving Group to get started on your free in-home estimate. We promise to do our part to make your move to San Antonio as smooth as possible.